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The blue cup. I can remember it sitting on the shelves of that old yellow brick house. Tucked away in the white hastily painted cabinets, and later on in the corner of my mind. The dark blue line running around the center, making it just a little bigger on the top half, and the lip still seemingly unchipped, after years of moving. No, we didn’t seem to stay in one place for long, and even though all the houses in all the towns seemed to blur together, those white cabinets and yellow bricks ring out sharply in my memory. In my own ambry, this house comes back to me. In my dreams it comes back to life, it breathes, smells and enfolds me all at once. Out of every image rushing through my mind I vividly place that cup back on the counter and hug myself tightly.

I saw that cup today. I was walking down the corridor at school and there was a kid, holding that blue cup from my younger days, from my Kansas, which of course brought back floods of memories from that kitchen itself. Then from my Godparent’s house..then everything hit me hard. Oh, Kansas.

Finals week. I have one more left tomorrow at seven-forty, then I am finished! I am pretty confident about the last few, so I’ll sleep easy. My last one tomorrow is in the morning, open note, open review, so let’s PRAY that I pass:)

I have a feeling I’ll be looking for a new job soon. Rash? Manic? Plain dumb? Yes.

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Looking back at old pictures of my “Kansas Days”, kills me. I miss my little town of Neodesha so much it hurts. I miss my friends, my life, the town. All of it. Well, looking back at these pictures got me thinking. There is so much in my past, I haven’t even tapped into for writing. I think sometimes I focus more on creating the life I want through my words, that I forget to use the material life has given me. SO, I’m going to start making that effort every week–to begin. Then, slowly everyday. Remembering is the problem! I have to really ┬átry to remember back all that happened. Who knows, maybe it will turn into something bigger.. I have to give credit to my wonderful Italian “Mannequin”, Luca Adamo San Geirgio. He always has the most simple outlook at things. When he asked me about writing he told me “Taylor, you have past, not just future. use it.” I love that womp:)

I’m babysitting a little girl, Kennedy. She’s so funny. Every since I learned about child narcissism in Psych, i love messing with little kids going through rapproachment. She has this little shopping basket of empty boxes labelled as food and I went through it acting appalled at the fact that the boxes were empty. “THEY’RE FAKE!” I mock yelled. She looks as if me as if i’m a moron. “They not real.” she says plainly. hah. This kids psyche is good. .


Let the sun shine.

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